Middle Schoolers

I received a letter from the children's school last Friday and it was about Middle Schoolers, kids aged 11-14. I know I have put the children in the right school because they thrive there. The school's concern doesn't stop with education inside the campus. Over the years they have found ways to involve the family and have maintained a strong school-home communication system that keeps parents in close touch with their children's affairs.

I am transcribing in this post, word for word, the letter about adolescents that they had sent, hoping that it may shine the light on how our youngsters are and how we, as parents, may better understand them.

As children grow, they begin to experience physical, intellectual, and emotional changes. The way they learn, feel, see the world, and relate to other people becomes different from when they were younger. These changes, along with demands from present-day society and peer pressure, create conflicts and tension in the adolescent, which are reflected in their behavior in school and at home.

Young people at this age show a good number of contradictions and conflicts, which is normal. There is no "model" adolescent. All young persons are individuals with strong and weak points and with positive and negative qualities. There are some common characteristics that should be kept in mind in order to understand and help the middle schooler in daily activities at home and at school:

1. Adolescents have high levels of physical and emotional energy, which may contrast with long periods of idleness, generally disapproved of by adults.

2. They take risks, are curious, and love danger and adventure, yet their feelings can be hurt easily. This is the time when they feel immortal, but they worry a lot about what their friends think about them.

3. They want to be independent from their families, and at the same time, they need to be pampered and protected.

4. They withdraw and want a private life, and at the same time, they worry about being accepted by their peers.

5. They demand privileges but avoid responsibilities. At the same time, they are developing an awareness of social problems and the welfare of others.

I haven't read anything as insightful as this about middle schoolers. It has given me that proverbial "moment of clarity" (when the light bulb suddenly turns on in the brain) on how to deal with my pubescent children. I hope it helps you too.