Home

I am finally home after two months.  Which words does one use to aptly describe a homecoming after prolonged absence?  There are none, I think.  But the familiar bed, my very own bathroom, my dresser and closets through which I can navigate blind, give me a warm, cozy feeling that assures me I am safe, all is well, I am home.

There is that ache for family--daughter, sister, and brother--whom I said goodbye to hours before boarding the plane which I know will dull in time.  But I hold on to the bags of memories collected during the visit with them in the previous two months, which should be enough to sustain me for another year.

I am reluctant to get back into the stream of things just yet; buying time, dragging my feet.  Why?  I don't really know...maybe it's fatigue of mind and body, as though I lost some of myself in trying to please and appease certain personalities in the past two months...maybe jetlag...maybe pure and simple indolence...

I look forward to having no household chores--thank heavens for our yayas who make life much easier for all of us.  I look forward to writing again, reading again.  I know I should call friends to catch up on things but what do I say and where do I start?   I have only one close friend with whom I can have a relaxed conversation where we sort of say nothing at all and just take deep breathes but understand each other perfectly.  We had several minutes of that earlier; it was nice.

My son, Bidi, missed his best friend, Tino, so much that he immediately arranged a playdate with him.  I overheard their phone conversation hours after we arrived and it went like this (of course I couldn't hear Tino's responses but one can surmise what kind of friendship is at work here by the context of Bidi's statements):

A: Hey, how was Italy, did anything special happen?

A: Really?  Okay...

A: Can you please come to my house tomorrow?  I have this toy called Bakugan, it's sort of a ball that transforms into a monster when it touches metal.  I want to show it to you because I know you'll like it.

A:  Great!  Can you please try to come early?

A:  Can you please bring the avatar DVD so we can watch together?

A:  Thanks, I can't wait for tomorrow.  Okay, don't forget to come tomorrow okay?  Make sure...

Afterwards, I thought of who I might be dying to see and couldn't come up with any names.  Belli, Pippi, and Mouse said they missed their friends but none of them was as eager as Bidi was to touch base with Tino, his good friend since Kindergarten, who uncannily looks just like him.  I think there's a real connection there.

I guess he equates being home with spending time with Tino; I equate it with familiar corners, familiar scents, of course, stress and chaos as well, but the familiar kind--the kind that comes from the ones I love.