I have been attending a private writing class outside of the graduate studies program for the past five years. It is a small group of friends with varied personalities and persuasions--all fine writers--who have been brought together by this common passion.
I just came home from one of our bi-monthly sessions today and I feel like I have been beaten to a pulp--brought down to size by our writing teacher. I submitted a piece to be workshopped by the group about a delicate subject: a recent occurrence (a year and a half ago)that had impacted my life in serious way. Our teacher, also a good friend, is a world-class writer whom I highly respect. And so her reading of my piece is heavily weighted. She tore it to shreds: over-written, emotional, lengthy, were some of the words she used.
It was painful and crushing to the ego, but what twisted the dagger was the fact that this very same piece had been earlier submitted for workshop in a legimitate class in U.P. under an exceptional writer and professor, also a multi-Palanca awardee and had been extensively revised. I remember vividly what he said to the whole class two semesters ago when I submitted the final draft, "This is a gift. Coming up with a piece like this is what writing is all about." He gave me a 1.0 for it. That professor is now on a Fulbright Fellowship (study grant) abroad so there is no way I can come to him licking my wounds. I would love to visit with him and ask for advice on how to revise this same piece to this other writing teacher's liking.
From the very beginning this other teacher has been like a strict parent, who is impossible to please. In fact, of the 12 or so classes that I had taken in the graduate program, 4 of them were under her and she has never gave me a 1.0--the highest possible mark. In all the other 8 classes under 5 different professors I got straight 1.0's.
Still, I have only respect and affection for her because she has earned every right to be that way--she is brilliant. This time though, I know that if I change my piece I would be doing it a disservice. She is right, it is emotion-driven, but that is precisely the point! The structure of the piece is an internal monologue, of course it is going to be long-winded and circuitous--it's the path to the epiphany! If you were confused and conflicted about something, would you think logically in a straight line? The piece was made to approximate the workings of a confused mind. But I didn't argue my point; didn't want to appear smug. I didn't even consider telling her what my professor had said about the piece because not only will it undermine her authority; it is downright rude.
This is what it's all about, I guess, having to be brought back down to earth when you start levitating because of self-importance. What to do?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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