I received an e-mail from my sister today, which was tagged, "The Perfect Man." I opened the attachment, which said, "Images embedded." So I eagerly scrolled down the page anticipating the photo of this perfect man but there was absolutely nothing. At the very end of the page it said, "Did you really think there was such a thing?" Smiling, I patted myself on the back, thinking, Ha ha, I thought so. But then, I was secretly disappointed, as I am over and over, everyday, over the fact that there really is nothing of the sort. Well, then again, maybe close...Paul Newman.
It has taken me this long to speak of Paul Newman because I was silently devastated by his death. Such a waste of a good man... I have had this affinity with Mr. Newman ever since I was a child. I remember, I must have been 8 or 9, my parents had come back from a movie premiere at the Lyric Theater in Davao. I had stayed up late because it was a weekend and caught them as they came in. "How was it, Dad?" I asked. "Oh, wonderful!" He said. "The movie is called The Sting. It stars only the best there is: Paul Newman and Robert Redford." He showed me a poster and some key chains, which were given as favors. "For you," he said. As I unfurled the poster, Dad said to me in his signature naughty manner, "You know, I was mobbed at the theater lobby because people thought I was Paul Newman." I looked at him, mouth agape. "Did you get hurt?" I asked in all seriousness. "No," he laughed, "But they kind of messed up my clothes because they all wanted to get close."
I took a closer look at the poster then, and immediately fell in love with Mr. Newman and the longer I stared at him, the more I saw my father, who is in truth and fact, a spitting image of Mr. Newman--a brown version (brown eyes, brown skin, dark hair). You'll just please have to take my word for it. Dad does look like him, I swear to you.
Here's the thing with my father: you never know whether he's telling the truth or not. That time, obviously, he wasn't, but I didn't learn that until decades later, when I had finally accepted the fact that he wasn't perfect either.
I had followed his career closely, watched all his movies, read everything that has been written about him. And what I had distilled from all that information are things that cannot be made more beautiful-sounding by high faluting words. They can only be honored by the simplest of phrases: he was a good man; a distinguished actor; an ward-winning director; a dedicated philanthropist; a tireless political activist; an entrepreneur; a champion race car driver; and a loving husband and father. He is quoted as having said about his enduring marriage, "Why would I go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home."
He was a negligent father in his youth. His oldest son, Scott died of a drug overdose along with an overdose of resentment for his father. This was when Newman took in character roles, "To crawl out of my skin," he had said. There you go--talent borne out of pain and suffering. An imperfect father inside a perfect man's person. He had wisened up after that and had become a devoted family man and husband, living a quiet existence pursuing his art and passions in the midst of all that Hollywood noise and bigness, giving back to the community that had made him who he was, all of 200 million worth of grants to charity through his Newman's Own food line.
He was known as PL to friends and family--PL for Paul Leonard or Paul Lunkhead, affectionately. Screenwriter William Goldman, who wrote Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, said, "I don't think Paul Newman really thinks he is Paul Newman in his head. In many ways this is because Newman has striven to be anyone but "PAul Newman" over the course of his life."
His long-time wife, Joanne Woodward, called him Sam Superstar. She admitted that it was hard to relate to his superstar status because the superstar had nothing to do with her husband.
Robert Redford said upon Newman's death, "There is a point where feelings go beyond words. I have lost a great friend. My life and this country has been better for his being in it."
It has also been reported that on his death bed as the family was gathered around, moments before he had expired, he said to them, "It's been a privilege."
Truly a class act...the unforgettable, the irreplaceable, the awe-inspiring Mr. Paul Newman. There are simply no words...
2 comments:
I too have loved Paul and admired his attitude and participation in so many wonderful projects. I fell head over heels at age 14 and I am 54 now. He was my dream man in my juvenile mind, but he enhanced his status as "God's gift" as he became the benevolent, philanthropic and worldly man as the decades passed. Just knowing that Joanne made sacrifices to allow Paul's career to reach its peak and to always be by his side, makes it especially heartbreaking now as she "goes it alone". The world will always be better because of Paul Newman's best efforts and my father passed away two years ago and he too, was a man of high character and good deeds. It has been an incredible blow and very hard to process the fact that the dream is over. God rest both my father and Paul Newman's soul. I was blessed beyond words.
Hi, babysandy,
We are sisters in this admiration for Mr. Newman. It is so easy to spiral down into the depths of ugly emotional places when we think of his loss. So let's please just think of his life and legacy and forever celebrate it! I'm so sorry about your father but you are indeed lucky because to be able to say, "My father was a man of high character and good deeds," is something that is an painful impossibility for many of us. You are truly blessed and from the tone of your response, truly happy and peaceful. My best to you.
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