Menoporsche

Real estate magnate, Donald Trump; media mogul, Rupert Murdoch; rock star, Mick Jagger; advertising billionaire, Charles Saatchi; or even staid, men of letters like Michael Crichton or Nicholas “Horse Whisperer” Evans; are just some of the world’s most famous and richest men who went through very public and controversy-ridden periods of menoporsche.

Menoporsche as defined by Wikipedia is a noun: angst and anxiety exhibited by some men upon reaching middle age, especially when those feelings manifest in the purchase of a sports car or an affair with a younger woman. It may also be conversely defined as a sports car purchased by a man undergoing a mid-life crisis.

These men do not do as other middle-aged men do when “the demon starts to stir.” Ordinary, simple men do not dream about selling their old model, serviceable, people-mover vans and replacing them with fast, flashy roadsters, they simply start making little grunting noises when they struggle to get up from the sofa, or they take up a new sport like golf.

But no, not tycoons—filthy rich business men, and oligarchs—powerful rulers in government. When these men hit middle age, they take the concept of “midlifing” to an altogether different level. They start shedding their safe, traditional, pinstripe-suited images for high-flying, man-about-town, cutting-edge, Prada-clad personas taking the latest top-of-the-line Porsche and the regulation femme fatale accessory out for a spin around town.

The long-time wife gets traded in for younger, fresher, fitter, friskier model. It’s the emotional and sexual equivalent of a new Maserati—only a lot more expensive (divorce can now throw a man back into the middle ages in terms of existence—really bare, where “roughing it up” stays true to its meaning.

Back to the Maserati. A friend who was recently traded in by her husband for a budding starlet said when I told her about the metaphor of the sports car, “What? Maserati? That gorgeous Italian-made car? I guess you’re right. His new girlfriend can be called a Maserati because she’s always having nips and tucks done, she’s forever in the hospital, indisposed. She’s sira parati! So I guess you can call her that: Maserati; not bad.

“It’s nothing new,” said Denise Knowles, a counselor at the U.K. Organization called Relate, formerly, the Marriage Guidance Council. “As men and women get older, they worry about losing their youth, and they believe that having a younger model will revitalize them. I think there’s a sadness and a shallowness inherent in replicating something you already have in a younger form, but the wealthy and powerful male is often not prepared to stay with the same old same old.”

And why do they do it? Well, as President Clinton responded when asked why he had dabbled with a lush, well-upholstered intern, Monica Lewinsky, half his age when he was in the White House, “Because I could.”

But there is definitely more to it than that. Powerful, older, wealthy men have always been able to attract young, beautiful women. The mystery here is why these men want to leave their wives and marry their mistresses during what has of late come to be known as male Menoporsche.

Some doctors believe that midlife crises often stem from men's waning testosterone levels. Dr. Harry Fisch, a New York physician and author of the "Male Biological Clock," drolly refers to the phenomenon as Menoporsche, noting that testosterone treatment may prove a better and less expensive antidote for the condition than the purchase of a new sports car.

And what do these young, beautiful women see in these men undergoing Menoporsche? It’s no mystery really. Power is, indeed, the greatest aphrodisiac, and money, well, is all that and more. Case closed. There are millions of young, beautiful women willing to trade their young, firm flesh for a flashy address. And that’s not a crime; that’s simply, commerce.

The question should be, don‘t men realize that these young bunnies they now squire around aren’t going to stay cute and fluffy forever? Even hotties in their twenties will, eventually, want exactly what the presiding wife has—i.e. the status, the security, the children—the whole package. So why do men fall into the famous elephant trap that is marrying the mistress? According to writer, Nicholas Evans, they do it because they get bored easily, even with themselves, (powerful men have infamously short attention spans); because they are rich (they can afford the crippling divorce settlements); and most importantly, perhaps, because they are vain.

Donald Trump, 59, who has traded in Ivana and then, Marla Maples, and has recently married ex-model Melania Knauss, 23, sits in an office decorated with framed magazine covers featuring his famous comb-over and blow-ups of his book covers on the walls. “All women on my show (The Apprentice) flirted with me,” The Donald confessed modestly to one female interviewer, “That’s to be expected.”

But not all men marry the mistress, many rich, powerful men stay married—if not faithful. And if you look at the list of those who dump their wives and trade them in for younger models, something else becomes clear. According to Rachel Johnson, a correspondent for Telegraph UK, all too often, however young and lissome the new wife, such men stay married and faithful only to their businesses. Tycoons know that monogamy is a recklessly huge investment in one person. So they reserve their biggest love affair, and their most passionate relationship, for their work. The mistress who has been promoted should watch her back.

Why do all this happen? Jeff Diamond, a correspondent for Third Age Voices says that one possibility is that these middle-aged men don’t have good marriages at all. “Many relationships deteriorate through time, yet one or both partners are oblivious to the unhappiness and pain that their spouse is experiencing. There are marriages that should have ended long ago, but the couple stays together because they are afraid to leave.”

Why do so many men leave their partners after 15, 20, or 30 years of marriage? The couple has often weathered many of the stresses of raising children, developing financial security, and seems to be ready to enjoy their later years. Yet, just when things seem to be going well, the middle-aged man becomes increasingly restless and wants to move out. Diamond adds that the reasons are often vague and confusing: “I just need to find myself,” or “There’s nothing wrong with you. I just I feel like I’m missing something in our marriage", or “You’re making my life miserable. I can’t stand it anymore.”

Somewhere in midlife, often following some kind of loss—a parent dying, children moving out of the home, an illness, a sports injury, a bout of erectile dysfunction—the middle-aged man begins to become increasingly irritable. Rarely does he recognize the connection between the loss he’s experienced and his feelings of dis-ease. At first he is not aware that he is becoming unhappy. When he begins to recognize that something isn’t right, he looks for the cause. Weeks, months, or even years can go by. All of a sudden things “click” for him. “It’s her” (the wife). Diamond observes that, “like a new born duckling that latches on to the first object he sees, the middle-aged man often associates his wife or partner with his unhappiness.”

Enter, the other woman. For tycoons, she cannot be less than drop-dead-gorgeous and young—very young. She becomes his fountain of youth, his link to his younger self. A middle-aged tycoon’s fantasies may be sexual, but the need is for much more than sex.

Diamond adds that if the wife comes to be seen as the problem, the other woman comes to be seen as the solution. Somehow she must have the key to his future happiness. It may be months or years before he actually walks out the door, but in truth, he has left long ago. Diamond ends by saying, “It’s one of the great tragedies I see in the world today. So many couples break up, just at the point when they could begin to heal old wounds and have the best relationship of their lives. What’s worse, neither really understands what’s going on. Like addicts hooked on heroin, they are pulled along a path that promises delight, but ends in destruction.”